there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
