you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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