you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
