Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
