I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
