You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
