and you said cock pushups were impossible
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
