Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
