So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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