During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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