yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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