ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize