You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
