you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize