Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
