I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
