Just cropdusted the office
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize