college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
