The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
