i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
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I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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