O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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