she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
