So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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