I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
