just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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