I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
