I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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