How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
