On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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