Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
