A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
