Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
