if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
