i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
