so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize