brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
