do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He shit in the fireplace
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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