Me. At least after what I've been through.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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