how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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