I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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