We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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