It's just like the Real World with babies
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
