I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
