walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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