you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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