thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
