Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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