super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
