which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
