I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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