there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
