i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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