11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
