who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize
