all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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