Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize