please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
