it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
