I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
