you would pick up someone in the library
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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